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Talking to Myself: Reflections of a YAP JJ Program Graduate

Talking to Myself
Kieland Sease, YAP youth
I don’t have the will to fight
My self-doubt is stuck in my conscious
It’s causing me to fail
My emotions are caged in a pool
But with no luck of getting to swim
I can see it but I can’t feel it
Too much trauma for me to bear
I am a coward who could be a soldier
But I’d rather suffer so I can feel
The pain and temptation of evil
A wound that cannot heal
The devil too mighty for my structures
Unless I escape from his clutches of fear
Is God real, does he care?
I’ve abandoned him too much
With the wrong that I’ve done
I alone am to blame
I let the emulsions of my emotions
Gather me with pain, I lead myself to shame
This is what my life has come to
The signs of God
Telling me through myself
One reason I am alive
To know the point of living
To understand what life is about
I cannot give up is what I tell myself
I want to let go of the pain but I am reminded of what it is
Don’t let me lose myself in the process if I forget
Forgive me inside of your emotions
So I can understand what true failure really is
I am not done yet there is much more to be said
But that will have to come another day, until we meet again
Forgive myself
Do not block out the pain for that is wrong
The only way to heal yourself
Is to understand the man you have become

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